Actions and Compromise

Recently I have had the chance to help some people through some tough times in their lives, and it makes me think; why do we torture ourselves for others?

Some people add to the stress in their lives, whether through their actions or by accepting the actions of others around them. When something seems off, shouldn’t you question it; ask why are things like this? Did I allow this to happen, or did life just smack me in the face.

Now it is childish to think that we are in complete control of everything that happens, for if we were, then we must be living in solitary confinement. Others peoples actions undoubtedly affect our own, if not directly, than indirectly. As an individual do we really decide what type of music we listen too; of course not, as life and our surroundings affect what we perceive.

The same must be true for things within our own personal lives. Hypothetically, if you decided to see a movie, does it not make others want to see it? Either through our own rave reviews, or simply for the fact that another may want to spend time with you. But when does this interaction become detrimental to our own way of being?

Is it when we can’t make decisions for ourselves; or when our decisions don’t put our own interests into the equation? An explanation is perhaps needed. Is it bad for me to do something, simply because someone I care for wants to do it, and I yield my own desires for theirs?

I would have to think yes, for if we are not at least living for ourselves, who are we living for? Others may say that living for another is the way to live. But if all people truly lived in this manner, would not everyone be living for someone else, thus no one is living for themselves.

The greater question becomes; how do we put ourselves first, while still sincerely caring for others? This is a hard thing to do. Do we…compromise? Well that would seem simple, but is it really.

When two people want something equally, yet the two things wanted conflict, what is the outcome? Is it better to have two individuals regretting the decision reached when compromised? Or is it better to have the two individuals go their separate ways and be happy?

I guess this is what it would be like for two people who come to this situation in life. Do we “settle” or; do we “divide” and go on with our lives? This is not just about relationships, but the decisions within those relationships. Perhaps it is best to take this into account the next time you decide to compromise; that is if you really didn’t want to compromise in the first place.