Shallow

Looks matter more than most would say, but then again, for one to say looks matter, one must admit that they are shallow. Does shallowness have degrees? Or is it simple a chemical attractiveness. Some form of stimulus must be present, I suppose, or can that spark be synthesized?

Many people will admit that some form of physical attraction must exist, but what exactly does that mean? A strong jaw line, ripped arms, deep eyes, height, hair, the list can go on for ages. I think what most people truly mean is that they want to feel an instant attraction, love at first sight. Love or lust, either would suffice in this analogy. But I will analyze both separately.

I guess it depends on your definition of the terms, but for simplicity, lust is a primal thing, which just happens. I good looking brunette makes your head turn when she walks by, or perhaps that guy just has broad shoulders and that makes you crazy. You want to be with them physically, sexually, or maybe just bask in their presence. But is that really enough, perhaps for a one night thing, but how many times have you thought, “Did that just happen?” When you realize that they have nothing in common with you, or that they really are a witless blonde, and that wasn’t just a rouse. Or that he is really a player, and you fell for it again. A quote comes to me, “If we don’t learn from our past mistakes, we are doomed to repeat it.” Does this apply to all things? Are we doomed to repeat our mistakes until we learn, or will fate play its part? I like to think fate exists, but at the same time I feel that our actions define us, not something/someone else.

Now love is trickier, because I think that it is something that comes from within. Initial thoughts are primal and just a quick response to a situation. The true test is how you deal with things after that. If you think to yourself, “He/She is super sexy or handsome!” That is just an observation, a statement, not a conclusion. A conclusion requires that you learn about the person. One needs to learn the persons; interests, hobbies, favourite colour, music, all the things that make an individual an individual. Otherwise it’s not truly love. For I don’t think love is something that you just do, it’s something that you feel, something that grabs you from the depths of your soul. As I write this I realize that if it is possible to fall in love, so too must it be to fall out of love. You fall in love when you really know a person, and connect on so many levels. If those levels change, so to must the level of love or commitment.

I remember hearing from my sister in law, that on a radio station they ask their listeners this question; If the person you were married to (or significant other if you prefer) were to gain 200lbs, would you still love them? Many of the listeners said no, because at that point they aren’t the person they fell in love with. On the surface this sounds logical, but then again most people reading this aren’t larger individuals like myself, approximately 425lbs. Now I look at the general response, and think to myself; “Is it not the same person?” Some might argue that the person’s habits changed, maybe they don’t play sports anymore, or they eat junk food, or whatever. Their hobbies, and the things that you fell in love with changed, so you don’t love them anymore. But then again, their interests wouldn’t change overnight, thus your perception of it wouldn’t either, things are relative to time, as it is a constant. My own thoughts are that I would still love them, for on the inside they are still the same being, maybe some things have changed, but haven’t I?

Now if the question were reversed; If the person you were married to (or significant other if you prefer) were to lose 200lbs, would you still love them? What do we think the general response would be? Just based on the interpretation, from the listener’s answers, you wouldn’t love them, because their mannerisms have changed. Maybe they started going to the gym, eating healthy, or some new hobbies. But I bet most people would actually say that, yes, they would still love the person. Now why is this? I believe it comes back to my initial statement, “Looks matter more than most would say, but then again, for one to say looks matter, one must admit that they are shallow.”